Being Falsely Accused.

[BloomerzUK]

Hi People,

In a bit of a ruck at the moment. I've been accused of abuse towards a member of female staff.

I started working in a hotel resturant like 2 months ago now, for a bit of cash whilst at college. I am a waiter, so I do all the standard waiter things e.g laying tables, cleaning up after people and general kitcheny things.

As many people know, kitchens can be cramped up places, squeezing past people and sometimes brushing past people accidently etc. Also, when laying tables, you need access to the stations with all the things you need e.g plates and cutlery. It can get pretty cramped there, and you need to crouch and bend around people to grab things, getting pretty close to them maybe brushing them.

Well, according to her and her husband, this is abuse. When she and her husband said this to me, I was truly shocked to say the least.

I'd like to say I'm completely innocent, and I wouldn't touch anyone without any reason to, espcially to 'abuse' them. (When I say abuse, I don't know what type of abuse they are refering to, sexual abuse??? Pfft.)

It's how they said it that angered me; they said that I've been doing it persistanly. She told me when I was waiting in line for some toast for break, and I was remotely behind her. She said, 'Can you stop touching me, I don't like it'.

Now, it's been put forward as an official thing.. and I have to go to a meeting type of thing on Wednesday with my main supervisor and someone from HR. She will obviously be there, but her husband may be there also. The problem with her husband is that immtemidated me when we had a little meeting about it on the day I got accused; he was shouting at me and pointing in my face, which made me really edging and nervous.

I get pretty nervous with anything official, and this could mean the end to my job (I know it's a little job, but regardless). So, I don't know what to say.. I will tell the truth, but I can't handle meetings and things. I'm pretty worried.

Also one question; the husband and wife are Spanish speaking, so when they are speaking in there language, can I ask what they've said.. do I have that right? (The supervisor is also Spanish and he also really good at English).

Thanks for reading, just needed to vent my anger.

(P.S - What I've said may be unclear because of my stress)

[ArTizan]

Wow dude, that's unfortunate to hear, and it sounds like it's going to be one of the non-provable things, with just your word against theirs, unless they can rope some 'witnesses' in.

She sounds like a bit insecure, hope she doesn't frequent any town centre on a Saturday night or I'm sure she'll be in for a shock!

The best thing I would say is just to lay it out straight to them, I know it's hard to hold your nerve but that's the best thing you can do to get your case across.

Some things that usually sway in emplyoess favour in word against word cases like this unfortunately are how long they've worked there, how good they are at their job and how good mates they are with the boss unfortunately.

[latency]

It's not pleasant to be in positions like these when it's your word against hers, and she will get the sympathy vote.

I'm no expert, but if I were you, I'd turn around and say to her;

"I sincerely apologise for any discomfort I've caused you. I honestly mean no harm and no offence, but as you know, the kitchen is a busy place and sometimes cramped.
I can do everything in my power to be professional in the workplace, but at the end of the day, I have a job to do there.
Perhaps if we both make an effort to avoid passing in close quarters, we can avoid any further misgivings, but once again, I have to stress that any notions of abuse you feel you have received from me are purely accidental owing to our work environment."

None of this is your fault, and you've got every right to tell her to get over herself or get a new job, but unfortunately, that'll make you look like the bad guy.
Throw up your hands, wave a white flag and apologise anyway, and you'll take the fuel out the fire of her argument.

[Cosmo_1847]

Keep your cool, don't raise your voice and tell the truth. You've done nothing wrong and should not have to worry the meeting. If they do say something in spanish or anything that you don't understand you should be able to ask "what do you mean?" or "what did you say?"

Best of luck bud.

[bigc90210]

I dont usually post (im a lurker) but after reading this i thought id put my 2 pence in to help you and advise you of my opinion.

Leave. The main thing about this is even if it comes back that shes been talking crap (which it wouldnt as its her word against yours) your reputation has still been tarnished. Screw her, get your CV's into supermarkets etc for part time jobs, and in the meantime hand in your notice of resignation on the grounds that people are talking crap about which isnt true.

Turn the tables on your employer and the situation in general. Tell them your leaving unless she stops talking so much turd, as she has no basis on which to make these allegations, and if you had been doing anything, surely someone else would have pointed this out also etc. The main thing is, stop being on the defensive, go on the offensive and point out that if they dont stop with the sh*t you can quite easily get a job somewhere else for the sake of this womans patter.

From here you should get a pretty good idea (depending on how your boss and she reacts) of whether or not its worth staying. Its amazing how quickly a situation like this can be defused should you turn round and ask her what the f*** shes playing at and not to try that sh*t with you again.

Plus from here you can begin to take the upper hand, by advising your boss that you dont want to work anywhere near here, and advise others of your situation too. If this is genuinely her creating this from nothing, others will soon realise shes full of crap which wont do her any favours and will sooner or later blow up in her face.

Good Luck

[LSG501]

I'm not sure of the legallity (hell I'm no lawyer) of this but if I was in your position I would be asking/doing the below:

1) asking for written accounts (english) of when they occured and what each of the incidents involved. So that you can get an idea of what exactly you are accused of.
2) that all Spanish conversation is translated (I'm 99% certain that this is a requirement anyway) - its not exactly fair to be in a situation where you have no account of what is being said against you.
3) the husband is excluded from any of this work related matter - he has no bearing on the issue other than to 'intimidate' you especially if he was not present at the alleged 'incident(s)' then he has no relevance to any enquiries. I would also deem him as a biased witness in any case.
4) Question why there has been no other complaints against you and/or if the person in question has raised issue with other staff in the past. Kind of shows history/pattern to events etc.

Have to say that from what I've read it seems like they're after a quick buck and are picking on (no offence here) a weaker person. The fact you get nervous in 'official' circumstances is a nice target for someone wishing to take advantage.
I would also consider raising a concern over the actions of the husband, violent/aggressive behaviour should be a major disciplinary event and as such he should be spoken too regarding his 'pointing/shouting' etc.

Unfortunately as said even if proven innocent your name has still been tarnished, it may be best to just look for a job in a supermarket. Good Luck anyways fella.

[Chenks]

chalk it down to experience in the knowledge that at least you good a good feel :D

[BloomerzUK]

Thanks for replies, will take some of it into account. :)

[Craig]

If she is able to take her husband into the meeting, then make sure you take a representative. Bonus points if you can find someone with a nice understanding of employment law etc, I've used a mate who was a final year law student back then.

[razer121]

ive had something like that happen to me....i proved my inocence by bringing it up to my manager and asking for a meting with him and her, she was so totaly screwed over and said sorry as she had no leg to stand on and of course i did nothing wrong, trust me that is the way to go, dont try and defend yourself (well do in a certain way) but go to your manager complain that she is falsly acusing you of sh1t and so on so forth, trust me, when it comes to that meeting and there is no proof she will soon relize she is screwd! to many girl cry out this stupid games.....justice is served back always :P

[Tom]

I dont usually post (im a lurker) but after reading this i thought id put my 2 pence in to help you and advise you of my opinion.
Christ, you ought to post more often, Mr. Lurker. I'd have to agree with ya - the job's not going to be worth the hassle, after-all.

And if she's playing silly buggers for some unknown reason, then that really is the last thing she'll expect. Either that or she'll be happy with you leaving. The short-story is: no more hassle. :D

[latency]

Tbh, I disagree. I wouldn't be run out of my job because some girl was insecure about bodily contact in an inevitable environment.

It's not that I consider it weakness to bow out, sometimes it's better to do so- but I would face these things head first, and only then if no one has the respect to look you in the eye, then you say 'Fine.' and bail.

[Forthy]

I haven't read all of the above thoroughly, but here's my first couple of pence...

(1) Take a representative with you

(2) Get a full written account of the complaint made against you

(3) DON'T ***KING SIGN ANYTHING!!!!

(4) Make a formal complaint about the threat of physical violence from the husband

I'll read the thread properly at some point, and see what else you should do :)

[Westy5]

Bad news fella :(

I wouldn't go leaving just yet - yes you can get any other job, but running away will look like an admission of guilt to your accuser.

Don't forget the CAB if you need any quick and easy help - they may advise a solicitor for later, depending on this meeting - they often asses a case for free in 30 mins and then you might start having to pay. Really depends on how it progresses and how much you need to do to clear your name

[six5tring]

I'm with Westy. You've done nothing wrong. Keep with the job. If she has a problem then she should be the one to go. Not you!

six

[FlyingHaggis]

As far as I was aware, the husband should completely stay out of it? If he wasn't involved in the situation, then it's nothing to do with him and could be seen as intimidation.

[[GPO]Solitaire]

Also get someone fluent in Spanish on your side!!

Heard the phrase "lost in translation"?

Sorry it's the only thing i can add to this thread!!

<insert witty phrase regarding "not needing translation when you look this good" here>

[BloomerzUK]

Thanks for all the replies people, really appreciate it.

I will try to get someone to represent me, but I might not be able to at such a short notice.

I have taken Forthy's comment serious, and I won't sign anything or anything like that.

I will ask for Alli (Her Husband) not to be there, as it's nothing to do with him.

Thanks once again.

Jake.

[[GPO]Solitaire]

How long you worked there?
are you full or part time?

law's change recently regarding employment laws. Not sure if it covers you!

Employment laws in England and Wales:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/69t7c7
(Might not help much)

[Azel]

As most people have suggested.....goto the CAB and let them advise you on what steps to take next. As for the time thing I'm pretty sure it has take place when you are ready and have all the representation i.e. someone that speaks spanish or that it's made clear that everything has to be done in English and any breach of that ends the meeting.

I must agree that you shouldn't just leave beucause you can bet your life that if this is left it's gonna bite you in the ass later down the line. And that you are damn sure of your innocence then don't let them gits walk all over you.

Main thing to remember is to stay calm whilst in the meeting. As Forthy as pointed out...not to sign anything....if you feel that it's all one way then to calmy say that the meeting is finished until you seek appropriate legal representation. If it's a case they are firing you on the spot then it's straight back to CAB and looking at an industrial tribuneral.

Hope that helps but looks like you have more than enough information to go on.

p.s. Also any form of warning should follow the 1) Verbal Warning 2) Written Warning 3) Written Warning and 4)Sack.

p.p.s. http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/life/employment/dealing_with_grievances.htm

[nicky munchkin]

Can you take your old man, or an uncle with you? Any lawyers in the family who owe you a favour?

[liadbacklad]

women eh? :rolleyes:

Go to the tribunal, keep your cool and if you see a weakness in her story go with it.. walk her through her own web of lies and make her look like the fool, it will dis credit her, the supervisor will be embarrassed and try and distance himself from the situation and be on your side and probably try and take the 'lets just shake hands and put this behind us..' line.

If you're telling the truth then you should be ok, also if you can't find someone with a bit of law experiance to go with you, do you know any tough/angry looking relatives that cna com,e with you to make you feel more comfortable around her husband. Its amazing what a difference a bit of muscle can do to throw the nerves of a bully!

[BloomerzUK]

Hi @ All,

Everything went well. I kept my cool, and basically told them my side of the story.

Now I wait for a call about the outcome.

Cheers for all replies.

[Westy5]

Well done, how was your manager?

[BloomerzUK]

He was fine, he said he was backing me all the way, and he said off the record that I'm innocent. So I'm confident.

[format]

3) the husband is excluded from any of this work related matter - he has no bearing on the issue other than to 'intimidate' you especially if he was not present at the alleged 'incident(s)' then he has no relevance to any enquiries. I would also deem him as a biased witness in any case.


Great shout mate, he should GTFO and STFU.

Good luck with your problem dude.

[razer121]

hey glad everything went good, always a bonus huh? spot on, update us and let us know what happens

[jimmyeat]

Hi People,

In a bit of a ruck at the moment. I've been accused of abuse towards a member of female staff.

I started working in a hotel resturant like 2 months ago now, for a bit of cash whilst at college. I am a waiter, so I do all the standard waiter things e.g laying tables, cleaning up after people and general kitcheny things.

As many people know, kitchens can be cramped up places, squeezing past people and sometimes brushing past people accidently etc. Also, when laying tables, you need access to the stations with all the things you need e.g plates and cutlery. It can get pretty cramped there, and you need to crouch and bend around people to grab things, getting pretty close to them maybe brushing them.

Well, according to her and her husband, this is abuse. When she and her husband said this to me, I was truly shocked to say the least.

I'd like to say I'm completely innocent, and I wouldn't touch anyone without any reason to, espcially to 'abuse' them. (When I say abuse, I don't know what type of abuse they are refering to, sexual abuse??? Pfft.)

It's how they said it that angered me; they said that I've been doing it persistanly. She told me when I was waiting in line for some toast for break, and I was remotely behind her. She said, 'Can you stop touching me, I don't like it'.

Now, it's been put forward as an official thing.. and I have to go to a meeting type of thing on Wednesday with my main supervisor and someone from HR. She will obviously be there, but her husband may be there also. The problem with her husband is that immtemidated me when we had a little meeting about it on the day I got accused; he was shouting at me and pointing in my face, which made me really edging and nervous.

I get pretty nervous with anything official, and this could mean the end to my job (I know it's a little job, but regardless). So, I don't know what to say.. I will tell the truth, but I can't handle meetings and things. I'm pretty worried.

Also one question; the husband and wife are Spanish speaking, so when they are speaking in there language, can I ask what they've said.. do I have that right? (The supervisor is also Spanish and he also really good at English).

Thanks for reading, just needed to vent my anger.

(P.S - What I've said may be unclear because of my stress)


in these situations i've heard you should have someone with you as a witness to the conversation. Record it on tape if need be. so that they can't backtrack.

hope outcome is gd.let us know. gd luck mate

[jimmyeat]

I'm with Westy. You've done nothing wrong. Keep with the job. If she has a problem then she should be the one to go. Not you!

six

her husband probably used violence on her so now to explain the bruises at the gym she works out at...shes using you as bait.

[BloomerzUK]

I've left now.

Sorry I haven't updated.

I'm currently looking for a new job. I don't want to work back there, all immigrants.. treating me like a bloody idiot e.g. closing doors on me with a stack of plates in my hand... kicking around my sweeping up.

Glad I left.

[latency]

That's just immature... Reckon you made the right choice there then.