Not sure what to call this

[hylian_231]

I have a situation that a person I know is in. I want to know if anyone on here knows if i can do anything or if there is something that can help it.

This person I know, is being well.. abused by her dad at home. Her mum knows its happening, but she cant say anything because she knows he will hit her. They can't leave because the house is in his name and they would have nothing.

What I want to know is, is there anything that I personally can do and if they did leave would they be able to go to the police or court or whatever and either get him put in jail or get him kicked out and the house goes under their name.

[pumpman]

Do not get involved, im assuming your frieind told you what was happening , first i would say to the girl that the Police need to be contacted now , if she wont do it then phone the Police. It must stop now

You must be prepared to stand up in court as a witness, but this pales into insignificance to what the girl is going through

With regards to the house situation , im not sure how the law works in Aus, but the court would likely award a restraining order on the father to keep him away from the house until further investigation , the Police have a special dept for this type of crime so will know what to do

Hope things get better for your friend

[jacobzcoool]

You need to do something, go and tell the police

[NoXiouZ]

Doubt anyone who replies will differ from saying you just have to tell someone, I'm with pumpman on this, not sure how things would go down law-wise in aus but human rights dont differ too much from the Uk. I can relate to the suituation and there is always a way, there are people who can help, emotionaly, financialy.. you just need to take the first step and tell someone!

[UbT]

You need to do something, go and tell the police
Don't you go tell the police, make sure she does. Then she can make a statment and then they can go see her mum, that will have to make one aswell. Make sure you tell her they will have to stand in cort against hun, which im not sure but the mother could get in trobble aswell for knowing and not acting, unless she is being abused aswell?. Your best of ringing a free help like for this kind of thing and see what they say, due to they will know the law.

[hylian_231]

I think that her mum is scared to tell the police cause she thinks that he will be mad at her and hurt her even more if they dont get a restraining order against him.

I told my friend that I wanted her to call the police so that he could be arrested and a restraining order against him. She said that she couldn't do that to her little brother, I'm not sure if he's aware of what his dad is doing, but she said that her brother idolises her dad.

[Sub]

this is in aus yea?
that's strange i was talking to a girl over there a lot recently, (this is minorly off topic)
ya know how over here if we were to say touch up a girl, top or bottom half, we'd basically probably get arrested if they didn't want it yea?
well this girl was felt up by her boss, date raped into a 3some with him, and sacked because she wouldn't get with him. is commonly abused by guys, and it's seen as normal?!
(k back to topic in hand, but i thought that was relevant)
i'd say mate, get her to talk to the police, make sure you go with her for support, it'l be hard for her. and make sure her mum knows what she's doing because you don't want to cause a rift between them if the mum thinks shes done it behind her back. be there for her, that's the only real thing you can do in this kind of situation. if you get physically involved he could a- hurt you or b- you hurt him n go down for it...
be careful these are touchy situations, let the police deal with it.

Good luck and i hope thing improve for your friend

[bob_monkhouse]

You must be prepared to stand up in court as a witness, but this pales into insignificance to what the girl is going through



How can he be a witness, unless he has seen the abuse actually take place.

[hylian_231]

Thats what I was thinking.. But I'm willing to support her in court.

[Shelley]

This person I know, is being well.. abused by her dad at home. Her mum knows its happening, but she cant say anything because she knows he will hit her. They can't leave because the house is in his name and they would have nothing.


Not being disrespectful but speaking as a Mum, how on earth can that woman live with herself knowing that she's not protecting her Daughter like a Mother should, advice i'd give is get your friend out of the house and leave the parents get on with it, if anything should make a Woman leave an abusive relationship it should be her kids, they deserve to feel safe and protected

[Forthy]

Hilyan, over here the NSPCC recently ran a campign called "talk 'til it stops". The idea being that lots of people know about someone who is being abused, but they keep it to themselves.

Do your friend the biggest favour anyone has ever done for her. CALL THE POLICE.

Make it stop bro, you have the power.

[Shelley]

Hilyan, over here the NSPCC recently ran a campign called "talk 'til it stops". The idea being that lots of people know about someone who is being abused, but they keep it to themselves.

Do your friend the biggest favour anyone has ever done for her. CALL THE POLICE.

Make it stop bro, you have the power.

Well said! i don't think there have been more cases of child abuse i think that it's reported more because people aren't afraid to speak out about it.

I just wish that social services would get their acts together though and concentrate on children that really need their intervention, i have to attend a meeting next week with Social Services to submit a report about a child i teach who they want to keep on their at risk register ( It's his sister that had problems but they decided to keep all kids on file ) despite him being healthy happy and attending school regularly, i'm sure there are kids they could concentrate on who are in real need of help.

*sorry for being off topic, it's an issue that bugs me

[movinginthedark]

I agree with every single post here, but I still think that you need to get her to do it mate. And if she doesnt, you need to - at the very least the police need to get involved ASAP - Cause you cant just let this thing lie.
The poor girl is probably scared out of her head that she will be seen as the person who tore the family apart, but you need to do something. The guy who is doing this, to his daughter is sick - he diserves everything he gets and more.....

[hylian_231]

Somedays I'm not sure what's going on, she comes to school everyday and she seems fine, but when she's home and I talk to her through msn she says all this stuff that has happened.

I've told her that she needs to call the police and she wont do it, she wont tell me why she won't do it either.

[jacobzcoool]

She is probably scared that he will find out, and that if the police don't do anytjhing, things will be worse. You have to tell her that if she tells the police, things will get better, and that she will be safe

[movinginthedark]

The first step is always the hardest step.

This next question I pose, may come of as very harsh, and very apathetic but I have to ask it, I don't mean to cause offence but I need to ask.

You don't think that, well, there is the slight possibility that this could be a cry for attention from your friend do you....?

I am by no means implying that she is lying, but if your going to get the police or yourself involved in this one way or another then you need to know as much about the situation as possible.

Sorry if this comes of harsh, and I do not wish to cause offence, but I am just looking at the situation from a different angle.

[jesush++]

Yeah, after reading the last few posts, that thought had crossed my mind too.

Its quite a situation to find yourself in, not knowing what to do for the best. Its better if she can go to the police, if it is happening.

If you are even 60% sure that it is happening, then i would risk it and go to the police if she wont.

Hope that didnt sound too harsh.

[hylian_231]

I have started to think about her asking for attention, cause if this was happening wouldn't she be upset all the time?

I'm not going to ask her if its all for attention, cause she helped me when noone else would

[Zender]

Sometimes people can hide their true feelings pretty well. I used to suffer from depression & nobody knew a thing as I'd be full of life at parties etc. The thing is, it's the last thing you want people to know!

I'd speak to her that she should go to the police because it will help, then if it doesn't, well...
several big guys, a van, a back road & hole in the ground along with a stern warning could do the trick.

[movinginthedark]

Hmm.... I would like to say that Zender has the right idea on this - and I do agree with him, people like that should have no place walking this earth.
But seriously - you need to talk to her and tell her that she needs to get the police involved, or you need to. If you don't, worst case scenario could happen, her, her mother or brother or someone could end up getting hit a little too hard in the heat of the moment, and then not wake up from it. Could you live with the guilt of knowing that you could have done something?

But seriously - you need to find out whats going on and get the police involved so they can help her and her mum take the first step towards being ok again.

[TheDean]

In the words of Shaun Ryder - 'Call the cops!'

To be honest, I don't think there would have been a though process going on with me if i knew something like that was happening to one of my mates....Down the cop shop - Game over!

[Eenu]

why has no one reccomended talking to his parents?

Talk to your rents mate and see what they think.

[colweb]

Mate, your (hylian) not qualified to deal with this, neither are most on this site I suspect.

I would contact the Australian Samaritans - http://www.samaritans.org.au and see what advice they offer. They will have trained people that deal with this sort of thing.

No matter what the mum says or does, she is trying to protect her family, only she's not doing a very good job if what this girl says is true. Mums will sometimes cause more harm, because they believe they are protecting, when clearly they are not.

Good luck, and lets just hope its a cry for attention rather than real abuse.

[namron]

I might be on the wrong track here, but depending on her age, perhaps "childline" might be able to help or advise which is the best way to go.

I've just looked up on their website : childline.org.uk or tel 08001111 .

I hope things get worked out, allthe best

[Fireblade]

tel 08001111.

I don't think he'll be much interested in phoning them tbh Norman?

Not from Australia :eek:

[namron]

:( Hell sorry about that, I should have looked harder at hylian_231's info, :o
I am adork :mad:

Here are acouple of web pages that might help out (in Australia) :)

www.supportfind.co will list several sites in Australia in different area's

and www.napcan.org.au is a help line nationwide in Australia for children..

[hylian_231]

I'm at school at the moment.

She hasn't said anything about her dad recently, her boyfriend of 14 months recently broke up with her so she's been pretty upset about that as well..

I'll ask her tomorrow if she comes to school, or I'll call her tonight