Chav Nativity.

[F A B Scott]

Chav nativity...

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)

She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo you lookin at?'

Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'

Mary's totally gobsmacked.

She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper.
I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we is gonna get.
'Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that.

They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'

It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they is killin' all the bay-bees. You
better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay'.

So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
Happy Crimbo. :cool:

[jacobzcoool]

:) that is funny

I hate chavs, they are the scum of the earth

[BloomerzUK]

LOL, That is class.

[Big Adam]

Surely, it should be Joe-as-if and Mary? :)

[bLaXe]

Surely, it should be Joe-as-if and Mary? :)
lol - that's funnier than the original post!

[fatnickc]

Heheh..
Brigthened my otherwise exam-filled day!

But the exams are over now, after 3 days..

[Cosmo_1847]

:) that is funny

I hate chavs, they are the scum of the earth

2nd :P i bet they dont even know the real meaning of xmas.

[Shelley]

Don't agree with Jesus turning water into Stella, it should've been water into White Lightening :D

[F A B Scott]

Chav M.: "'ere, wot you wannu gah an' gerra brahhhhn donkey for, den, eh? Are you fick, or sumpfink?"

Chav J.: (looking at ground) "I don't believe I'm 'earin' dis"

Chav M.: "'ere, woss yur game den, eh? I told you, you ain't de farver, in'it!"

Chav J.: (looking at ground) "I don't believe I'm 'earin' dis"

Jeremy Kyle: "No use lookin' at the ground, mate- tell HER how you feel!"

Chav Archangel Gabriel: "That's it- I'm off down, I mean dahn, the Queen Vic, if anyone's lookin' for me. In'it. Sorted."

Chav J.: "Aw, leaveitout, Gabe, you soppy mare!"

Chav Arcangel Gabriel: "I don't believe I'm 'earin' dis".

Enter Chav. King Dirty Den Herod: "I fought I'd find you 'ere. Fought you woz going to gerraway wiv it, didn't you. Well I'm back nah... and the donkey's pregnant too... and it's MY baybee!"

[Cosmo_1847]

Well I'm back nah... and the donkey's pregnant too... and it's MY baybee!"

I'm speachless and my mind has gone blank.

Are you going to do the how bible? that would be a laugh.

[Cod Ball]

Hehehe, nice one.
Seriously i really think there is going to be a war with chavs, because if no one else starts it i suggest we do!

[jacobzcoool]

What about a legal chav hunting season, so all the people who are annoyed about the foxhunting ban can go chav hunting instead?

[Cod Ball]

Petition! :D

[accylad]

Well northern chavs like BLUE WKD lol

[accylad]

But lets not confuse war on chavs with Mr Blairs war on the honest working class

[Cod Ball]

At the moment we have two threads about chavs on the go, i think we should merge it into one uber "Death to chavs" thread where we can post horrific pictures of chavs we've mamed and burned etc:D

[BloomerzUK]

Agreed, we need a 'Anti'Chav' society on here.

[Carbine]

Damn!! reading that made my head spin! and took me approximately 15minutes to read and understand what the words actually meant :eek:

[BoyWonder]

I think that is a Chavtastic idea, when does chav hunting season officially start?

I live in Bolton and have more hunting material than any of you ... :D

[accylad]

I live in Accrington and that is chav central

[BoyWonder]

you should come to bolton ... they've even got coppers on the buses now, i'm telling you this is the capital scally central.

there's one area where you cant even go in to unless you live there and are a fellow chav, no matter what time of the day it is.

i hate them with a passion ... with their rockports bought from GUS at £1.99 a week and their stripey tops.

[Darth Sidious]

wouldnt it be great if there was an AntiChav party at the next election

tough on Chavs, Tough on the Causes of ................Hang on a min Irans got WMD's...............*******'n get in there lads the chavs can wait :rolleyes:

[Cosmo_1847]

didn't bill baily that said that? well not the chav bit but the rest are his words i think.

I think we are an anti chav society on kustoms. good thing its sales are mostly based online as a forum instead of like a meeting group thingy, cos chavs would fly (in front of buses then off high building :evil: )